dexter-spikes:

to be the very best

lydiallama:

today my army friend was telling us about basic training and drill sergeants and there was this kid in her battalion who asked so many stupid questions that the drill sergeant made him carry around a potted plant all day to replace the oxygen he wasted

(via fiction-saved-my-life)

cumrun:

I WLLL COME INTO YOUR HOUSE AND FUCKING nap with you

(Source: cumrn, via userbar)

skypestripper:

hearing a story thats obviously made up

image

(via stop)

userbar:

i used to think

if only you could put pizza on pizza and believe there was no way it could be done

but now, i have seen the light

image

(via unpopuler)

things that have no chill

torobabe:

-me

-automatic toilets

-people who clap when the plane lands

(via unpopuler)

human:

when someone says they dont like me

image

(via userbar)

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